Oh, Yea! :) Things!

Happy people I do not know...

Happy people I do not know...

It’s been brought to my attention by some of my faithful readers that, well, I’ve been whining quite a bit. That’s not surprising, I guess, since I am a whiner by temperament, and this blog is about CRISIS, after all. But I vowed, for the concerned friends’ sake and my own, to try a little lighter approach, at least for one post. You know, write about all the cheery things that have filled a recent day or two.

So here goes:

Hmm.

All right, don’t get impatient…ah, yes, there was – no, that wasn’t good. Then there was…no, no, not good either.

This may be harder than I thought.

Erica, of the skilled hands and ballsy blues voice. She loves FZ too!

Erica, of the skilled hands and ballsy blues voice. She loves FZ too!

Ok,. let’s go back to yesterday. I know there were some fun things then. My massage therapist Erica came over to the house (yes, that is a luxury, isn’t it?) and gave me my first massage in about two months, way too long for someone with all my stress-induced muscle fatigue and the chronic pai – wait, that sounds suspiciously like whining. Basta. I’ll just say Erica was as chipper and skilled as ever, and the hour went by too fast.

Shortly after, we headed out for dinner and a play. We were supposed to eat with the director, one of our theatre friends, but an emergency kept him away. No matter, we would go on with our plans, even though we were still going to go where we were supposed to meet him, and I would have preferred – ahem, we had a lovely meal, then headed to the theatre.

The show was Steve Martin’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile. A slightly wacky play, perhaps a little aimless at times, but overall enjoyable and everyone involved did a fine job. After, we went for drinks with the director and some of his friends; good to have some social interaction outside the home. Although one friend was…ah, a fine chap, just lovely. Looking forward to more quality time together.

Today – nothing too special today. Did some prep work for tomorrow’s rehearsal of The Real Thing. My involvment, however limited, has proven rewarding so far, and that is a good thing, yes indeedy. Spent several hours going over a new recipe in my head that I’ll be trying tonight, an act I always enjoy. Watched the UConn men win on national TV – yea! So a happy day, I’d say. Of course maybe the Ativan I took late this morning kept some of the crisis thoughts at bay, I don’t know.

Tonight will be mellow: cook the meal, listen to the UConn women, perhaps more social interaction with friends of Samantha. They are all going to a midnight movie. I think I’ll skip the show (Buckaroo Banzai – eh) and just go for the drinks. Then, “and so late too bed.”

This happy-faced existence is extraordinarily exciting, don’t you think? Well, maybe not.  But one can have too much excitement I suppose. I don’t seek that, or even happiness, on a daily basis. I seek contentment. I seek my acceptance of my own being. Maybe appreciating those moments of good food and social camaraderie will guide me to those larger goals. Of course, there is still the drudgery of work and chores and even sometimes marriage. And the Crisis that sits vulture-like inside my skull, waiting for the carrion of my desiccating ego self to croak once and for all. (Ah, so that’s what those noises are I hear: the slow beating of wings, the drawn-out drips of drool from that goddamn bird…)

Sorry, gang, that this was not a complete success. But it’s a first step. I’ll keep looking for the good stuff to write about, honest. I guess the best thing I can say everyday is, I’m alive, and people I love care about me. Just recounting that would make for some boring blogging, I think. But remembering it is not a bad starting point for living a better life.

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~ by mburgan on March 1, 2009.

4 Responses to “Oh, Yea! :) Things!”

  1. “I seek contentment. I seek my acceptance of my own being.”

    ah grasshopper..its a long journey..maybe by the time your 50…or not….

  2. yes, maybe, maybe not; we’ll see…

  3. Dear Whinner,

    I think you’re heading in the right direction. Gratitude for the small things…a good starting point. Instead of complaining about having to buy a house, be grateful you can. You’ve had great experiences in Chicago and have grown and learned a lot. You live with a wonderful woman. Some people live alone and are lonely. You have your health and family. You are, indeed, lucky than most. Be grateful.

  4. Yes, I am grateful about a lot of things; I just sometimes forget a lot of them in the swirl of the Crisis. Hoping things will finally return to “normal” after the latest phase is over.

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