Odds and Ends

Too long, baby, too long, too long since this blog writing thang been done…OK, allusion to semi-obscure blues song out of the way, let’s proceed.

Been plenty of times over the past few weeks when I’ve thought about C?WC?, but then never done anything about it. Lots happening, as usual, and some of it is actually — well, good might be an overstatement. Let’s say all right, shall we? So here’s a brief recap of all that has been going on, with reference to posts thought about and never written.

Let’s get the not-so-great out of the way first. Umm, work still sucks, though it is not as overwhelming as it was 6 weeks ago. The house sale, which I have scrupulously avoided mentioning here lest I jinx things, has gone from a done deal to a “Well…” So I have a house full of packed boxes and various reservations made, and the whole thing could still blow up in my face. Lovely. I am trying really hard not to think about the worst-case scenario. And actually, last night, as I said I was angry about lousy things beyond my control, part of me felt strangely calm. And thinking things will be fine.  What else? Oh, I broke the screen on my netbook. But in a bold display of derring-do, I bought a new screen online and am GOING TO REPLACE IT MYSELF! I will let you know if  said netbook is still functioning afterward.

This is in sort of the neutral category: I stopped seeing Dr. Chomsky. Not because I’m “cured,” god knows, but the no-insurance thing was becoming an issue, and I thought the impending (ha!) move would take me too far away. I went through a little withdrawal the first week during what had been “our” time, but it’s gotten better since. Actually, much of my emotional life feels better these days; better able to roll with the punches, no Ativan in several weeks, optimism/excitement for the future, assuming the sale goes through. Still too much of the Ex in the head though, but even that is getting a little better.

The time with the good doctor was definitely good, on the whole. Was not so sure of his old-school, long-silences style at first, but over time my ramblings in between the gaps seemed to get us — me — to some better places. Funny, I freaked when he said long ago not to even consider a new relationship for at least a year after the divorce. Now I don’t think it’s going to be an issue for a long time. Nothing on the horizon, and that is ok.

So, the mostly positive memories of my therapy is a good segue into the good things in life. There was the conference in DC back in May, which seems like an eon ago and which I wrote about briefly here and planned to write about more, but it seems so dated now. As I said, it was a great pleasure spending time with other history nerds (and I do hope I can resurrect that moribund second blog in the near future). Some small theatrical successes the past few months, enough to convince me — again— that I have just enough talent to keep going, though not enough to perhaps reach the level I would like. I hope the new full-length, when complete, will belie that, but don’t hold your breath.

And there have been the farming adventures. After the success of the scapes, which led to some yummy pesto, I harvested a few of the first heads this week. Perhaps a bit too premature, but I think there will be something edible out of it. And I have been doing my work hours at the CSA I joined, something else I had hoped to explore here, but never did. I’ve weeded mostly, and also spread some rabbit manure. That was loads of fun. There is something therapeutic being out there for a few hours, and knowing your labor is contributing to organic veggies for a lot of people. And there is a social element too, as I chat with Beverly the farm manager and the other members. Overall, I have a new appreciation for people who farm. And for all the turmoil her time at the CSA added to our marriage, I have deepened respect for the Ex, in pursuing her dream and doing the hard work during her volunteer stint. (Did I just do that? Say something nice about the Ex? Hmm, all that meditation/Buddhist reading must be having a cumulative effect…)

It feels like there should be more to say, but I guess my life has been pretty boring. Quelle surprise. And maybe that’s ok. (Well, there is the whole Italian citizenship ordeal, with my big day at the consulate rapidly approaching. I’ll have a report then.) Work and moving certainly add enough stress, but again, I feel like I am handling it better. As always, the support of friends, old and new, has been key. I can’t imagine that ever changing. I have a feeling, based on nothing concrete, that there will be more new people of substance entering my life, especially after the move, and that can only be for the good. And at that time, I hope to start a new blog. More on that when the time is right. Until then C?WC? goes on, even as OEC seems to feel like it has lost some of its punch, a hurricane making landfall. Still some tree-twisting winds and drenching rains, but the true danger has passed. Thank god.


~ by mburgan on July 8, 2011.

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